I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
