Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I have post one night stand depression
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