Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
this boner is exhausting
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
