bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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