you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
