Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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