I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
