look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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