he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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