I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
