"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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