i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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