I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
