just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
