I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
