gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ugly people sure do ruin things
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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