Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
