i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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