Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize