Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you had me at cake vodka
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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