I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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