yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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