he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
