these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So vagazzling was a success
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
