So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
