Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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