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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)

  (586): View more from Michigan

  It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse

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• (760): View more from California

  My pussy is not your playground.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.

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• (516): View more from New York

  ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL

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• (858): View more from California

  just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.

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