I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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