my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You left your phone here
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