Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
