i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
