Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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