Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
