His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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