My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
