last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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