If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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