To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
