I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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