Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
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how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
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I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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