used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
