There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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