he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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