At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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