sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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