I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
