She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
