We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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