Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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