the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Fuck appropriateness.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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