Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
