I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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