somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize