Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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