I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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