So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
