Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
