I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
