I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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