remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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