last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
